In this moment, it restricted, you know, or limited, which is attainable under some restriction. It's real? limited. [Do you understand? ?? That is what I meant.

Q: Is that part of you which you restrict, the same part of you that is liberated?

Yeah. Some restriction necessary. For our liberty??, our [self restrict?? necessary to obtain?? liberty??.

Q: What are you to restrict, or what am I to restrict?

According to the ??? we're some kind of, under some kind of circumstances are always ... different circumstances. So our way ... way is not always same, but actually limited. It is not always ... always the same. That is realization, liberty??, or to create even??, actually, in this life. We understand; in this way. We do not understand it -- restriction. We understand the means of realizing the liberty??. That -- as restriction.

[Do you understand???

Q: Uh-huh.

[For your ??, for your husband... husband is restriction??, but because of your husband, you can express your affection. Restriction and... it is... it gives you some chance to express your limited?? life.

For me to... for me as I'm Japanese, to come and live San Francisco is very big restriction.  ??? express my freedom.  Because of my freedom ???.  [Thank you.??

???.  At the same time I have no idea, really.  So when there's no liberty?? ???.

Q: ???.

??? just ???.  This is ???.

Q: ???. Suzuki, is it always hard to, like, know like? what restriction should be take? ??

???.

Q: I was a talented ???, ??? things that ??? think they ??? long believers??.  I don't?? even know just what... to... to ??? I just bought ??? kinds.  But if ??? and it's really... and it's really hard to....  What do you do there, if you have to find your own?? way, and yet you have ??? just as soon as you pick?? it?

Mm-hmm.  ???.  [It's this kind of ??? away.??  ???.

Q: [Acknowledgement].

And... something... missing??.  ???.  In our [way of life?? whether you are Japanese or American.  Something is missing, ???.  [Realize this??.  Our real ??? idea of liberty?? too much??.  ??? ... we... ???.  Or, we do not emphasize too much – after it. But ... I hope some [attention to it?? for our desires or instinct....  Some control.  So if you practice this??, that you can practice this ??? you have some [deep way??, or because you have to organize ??? some part, and some ??? is necessary for your life.  ???.  ??? [to come sit, you have to ??? ?? of ???, this is a kind ???.

If you are concentrated on everyday practice of zazen, [then this?? this ??? some restriction.  ???.  [Organization....  Necessary.??

Q: Long ago you said we recognize deep liberty??.  ??? recognize ???.

But, you know, if you ???.  ??? you have to be mad?? at it.

Q: I hope what I was trying to ???.

???.  Buddhist way ??? very?? superficial.  ???.

Q: I messed you up, too, but then I asked him?? if [he done??.  ???.

??? fundamental that??.  ???.  [The goal in?? ???.  [The goal here is?? ???.  [Because you are?? ???.  ??? [all the way to the goal??.  And, as soon as you arrive at the goal, you?? ???.  I wish I didn't.  [Laughter].  ???.  But, the rest of your life ??? to the [right way??.  ???.  I ???.  ??? to the ???.  Never?? ??? [just come?? to this world.  [So three's?? helping those??.  What is ??? ?  And when we are angry, ???.  ???, when we are ???.  That is a?? ???.  ???.  [Laughter].  ???.  [Laughs].  [Long pause].

After the Second World War, in Japan, the textbook of history... completely, completely changed. The ???, they become?? part of [other sociality now??.  And that sociality?? is based on some, you know, idea, or some -- idea... framework of society.  And then almost all the teachers?? in Japan become a lover... lover?  ??? framework idea of framework [on the?? society... and that framework ... ??? more societistical?? ... this is big ???.  Mistake.  It is much better to be some [lover?? , but to?? see some drug.  Or, to see some Cokes.  [Laughter].  [Future lover??, not... no, maybe it is ???.  ??? a new generation of Japanese, because ???.  [Laughter].  ???.  [This is age of loving, what?? ?  ???.

Q: ???, robot?? ???.

???.  [Laughter].

Q: ??? could... could that be dualistic at all, in?? that... robot would be ???, someone else is talking about?  Who I am, like a machine?

-chine??

Q: ??? robot is a machine??.

If you want to be a lover??, this... this is another... ???.

Q: ???.

Yes.  ???.  [Pause].

??? [perfect.  Nothing perfect,?? ???.  ??? big question mark.  Samadhi??.  ???.

Q: I?? heard you say, unless you can stop your mind [in the?? sutras, you really won't know too much.  You won't be able to understand ???.

Stop?? your mind?  [Acknowledgement]??.  There's no need to stop your mind.  When you practice Zen, you have to [Tape runs out?].

In other words, we must not be confined?? in physical?? world.  We must not be confined?? ??? in world.

[Long silent pause.  Audio error, maybe different lecture?]

That is why we are caught?? -- some idea of perfect.

What is perfection? Perfection is nothing but ???.  You exist?? [in perfect or imperfect] way.  Exist as?? [in perfect or imperfect] existence??.  This is ???.  There is no explanation??.

You say hand??, but not house??.  But ??? - perfect??.  [And when you?? pick up something -- perfect.  Harmony??.  What?? is [harmony? ??  Harmony... [exist in dream??.  You cannot this??.  Harmony... [Long pause].

Harmony ???.  [It is?? some dream??, when you're?? asleep.  You have ???.  ???.  Before [you notice, maybe even notice or ever notice], you... you have it.  Harmony is something we already -- before we say "harmony"... [Long pause].

Q: [Since nobody's?? caught, I'm not caught by ideas of images... ??? ... and [still want or still won't]... help others is to help one's self.  To?? save others before one save one's own. Can I [sort of?? divide an?? effort ??? ?  ???.

There?? you have, ??? ... "Problem?"... as you have... [Pause].  ???.  Buddha... Buddha's words??.  How do you understand our practice ??? compared?? to Buddha's ???.

Q: I find?? it's... my first reaction?? is an acknowledgement of sincere effort...

[Acknowledgement].

Q: ??? [Short].

In?? what way?

Q: Well... [well as yet?? misdirected effort.

Hmm??.  Right now, your effort that you are making is right effort, or wrong effort [maybe question?].  Is that so?

Q: [Acknowledgement]??

The effort you make is ???.  That you are compares?? the idea of ??? Buddha, or ???.  That maybe sutras?? is... is that you are ???.  ???.  ??? [the written teaching??.  [Is that so?? ?  If so, you ???. Is that what you mean?

???.

Q: There is still seems to be a division between philosophical and emotional ???.

Yeah. When you are, [you know??, your?? problem is ???.  ??? Buddhist's?? ???... of Buddha's ??? or?? Buddha's teaching literally in the?? scripture.  But ??? not ??? practice.  ???.  Practice ???, [maybe so??.  And you are not... you do not understand.  You have no ???, intellectual understanding of your practice.  ???.

Q: ??? [every day?? ???.  [So one way that it?? seems ???.  [Suzuki cuts in].  That sounded dualistic, but [Suzuki cuts in again, laughs].

That is the main point of the lecture [[laughs]?? tonight.

That is the point. In short, if you do not have??, if you do not understand why ??? angry [Questioner cuts in]...  I am... I am quite different ???... I am quite someone?? who has nothing to do with you.  That is your attitude. ??? [laughs].  ??? not... that is so, but I can... ??? exaggerate, [you are... I can... problem.??  ???  So...

[But this why?? ???.

In short, if Buddhism is right, or if zazen practice is right, I will practice zazen. If zazen is... is wrong, I will not do it. Or if the leader?? practice is good one, I will practice.  If not, I will ???.  It look like so, practice??.

Q: Not so much.  [Suzuki laughs].  ??? it... it... it's true in my case [that I think that it??, quite often in terms of a special freedom, or a special ??? [Suzuki acknowledges], and even though I'm ??? conceptual I am this somehow opposite ???...

So?

Q: Certain kind of extension.

My lecture ??? directed to that part??.  Anyway you are apolitical.  [[Laugh]??.  Kind of, you know.  ??? [is necessary??.

So, I've spoken ??? philosophical way tonight. And, Buddhist philosophy is said denial of Buddhist philosophy. It is ??? Buddhist philosophy.  To intellectualize our [understanding or expanding] is to intellectualize our intellectuality. What is your intellectuality?? ?  What is philosophy?

And if you study, if you push that philosophical [way or away], through and through, recipe ??? and ???.

So we ??? tonight at ??? push the idea of freedom, idea of perfect social structure [or liberty?? to that point where you fight??.  That make no more perfect?? ???.

In short, our life is ???.  That is absolutely?? true.  Absolutement??.

Q: [Speaks] ???.

Hmm?

Q: ???.

Samsara??.  ??? suffering??.

We say in monastery?? after Buddha [pass away?? , it is 2,050 ??? years?? ago that Buddha [pass away??.  If?? today is pass??.  Our life maybe... maybe become ???.  Real?? life ??? more?? ???.  Small, shallow, muddy puddle.

How is it possible to [attain or obtain] perfection in that muddy puddle?  [Laughs].

But, we have to strive for it.

That perfection Buddha has strived for, and we have to be [successor.  Buddha. or successor Buddha].  That is our way.  Did?? you understand?

And you want to find out some pure water in small puddle.  Pond.  [[Laughs]??.  Small muddy [pond or puddle].

Every [three-and-eight day??, before [four-and-nine day??, we receive this kind of big stick on ourself??.  You are ???, [grunts]!  [Laughter].

???.  To have idea ??? you cannot get out of ???.  [That is true??.

That is [an eternal?? truth.  That ???.

Compared?? to this ???, through [your action??, ??? practice zazen here.  ???, you will find out how ??? Buddha ???.  Do you understand?

If all of you understand this point, ???.  What is the meaning ???.  [Laughter].

???.  [Laughter].  That it ??? someplace.  But catfish is catfish because it is catfish.  Through and through.  [Laughter].  ??? something more than catfish.  [[laughs].??  ???.  How unusual!  [laughs].  ???.  [Laughter].  ???.  So??, because catfish ???... catfish ??? big [puddle or pond].  He's more than big catfish.  ???.  ??? whole world.  ???.

Q: If the catfish wants to be a wheel, isn't the desire to want to be a wheel part of the catfish?

[laughs].  If he want to be [laughs], maybe?? .... [Laughter].  If you want to be a catfish, ??? become a whale, but you are [sure or still]?? ???.  [Laughter, responses].  Unfortunately!  [Laughs, laughter].

Thank you very much.

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Source: srl-66-03-26B digital audio  archive from DC. Problem set. First transcribed March 2012 by Judy Gilbert. Work in progress. Further preparation to post by DC. More editing and transcription by CM beginning of October 2012 using mostly the enhanced audio .  Prep for posting 10-26-12 - DC.

Audio grade fluctuates from grade C or D downwards: not much of the audio is clear, and it has a tendency to get really poor for vast sections of time.  Maybe <50% is clear?  Seems to be a cut somewhere after the middle (marked in transcript); can't be exactly sure it is the same discussion.

??? denotes at least one muddled word, or just a stretch of bad audio.  ?? denotes a guessed word, with an added open bracket meaning a guessed phrase or sentence.  Ambiguous words (such as homonyms or where an "a" might be an "un-") stated in closed brackets.